Guts and Great Things
by The Golden Phoenix Song
Summary: 'Alastor Moody knew he could expect great things from Nymphadora Tonks.' In other words, the experiences of Nymphadora Tonks with Mad-Eye Moody and her fellow Auror trainees.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Kingsley Shacklebolt sighed, rubbing his bald head. Why was he even here this early? He rolled his eyes. _Because Mad-Eye's a workaholic_, he reminded himself. The retired Auror was taking on training the new recruits, which was going to be a considerably large job, considering the Auror Department hadn't taken on any new members for three solid years. Unfortunately for Kingsley, more trainees meant more qualified Aurors had to be around to train them, which in turn meant more working hours for him.

A grim expression upon his face, Kingsley pulled what seemed like a mountain of paper planes towards him, and flicked his wand, muttering a spell to unfold them.

_Caddock, Michael. Davenport, Stefan. Greentree, Sean. Hatfield, Sherry. Honeysuckle, Ariadne..._

After several hours of reading Auror training application forms, Kingsley's head was thumping. He had not the slightest clue how he would remember all the names and details he'd read and the faces he'd looked at. He stood up, stretching out aching limbs and attempting to suppress a yawn.

"Sleeping on the job, there, are we Kingsley?" called a sickeningly cheery voice from outside the cubicle.

A moment later, the crooked nose of Albus Dumbledore poked around the corner, followed by the rest of the old wizard. The other wizard blinked in surprise. Dumbledore wore a garish purple and orange set of robes with a matching pointed hat. Unfazed by the lack of response, Dumbledore said, "Oh, this rather dashing ensemble was a gift from the Peruvian Minister for Magic. He has lovely taste, wouldn't you say?"

Kingsley nodded mutely. "Yes, quite," he replied. "I was just reading over the files from the new Auror trainees. Mad-Eye wanted to quadruple check that all the applicants had fulfilled all his requirements. He left that job up to me. It's quite tedious, you see."

A smile tugged at the corners of Dumbledore's lips. "Well, well. Alastor never seems to change, does he?"

Kingsley shook his head ruefully.

Dumbledore bowed deeply. "I should leave you in peace, then. Wish Alastor good luck for me, will you?"

"I surely will," replied Kingsley. "Goodbye." He then closed the cubicle door behind the older wizard.

An hour later, Kingsley heaved a sigh of relief. At long last, he had finished reading and checking each application, and not a single one was something to be concerned about, although he worried about what Mad-Eye would make of some of his trainees. Some of the pictures showed applicants with quite literally half a dozen earrings in each ear, some wore Spectrespecs, while one applicant looked to Kingsley like he was still recovering from a bout of dragon pox.

_Oh, well_, thought Kingsley. _Mad-Eye is supposed to know what he's doing._ Shaking his head in bewilderment, he went to get himself a cup of tea and a crumpet slathered with jam and butter.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

A shrill shriek could be heard from the upstairs bedroom of number eight, disturbing the stillness of the street. This was followed by the sound of a body crashing against wooden floorboards and a steady stream of muttered swear words. Such was every morning in the Tonks household.

Downstairs, Andromeda and Ted were in their kitchen, unfazed by the ruckus which their daughter was causing. Ted did not do so much as bat an eyelid; nor did Andromeda look up from the self-stirring pot of porridge which she was supervising. As if on cue, they sighed in perfect unison. How was it that their twenty-two-year-old daughter could _still_ be so clumsy?

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda bellowed up the stairs. "Breakfast is ready and if you don't come down now, you're not going to get any before you go! It won't do you much good to faint from hunger on your first day of Auror training!"

A moment later, Nymphadora came hobbling down the staircase, her foot in her hand, fruitlessly attempting to pull on a pink and green striped sock. In the blink of an eye, she had somehow done a somersault down the remaining stairs, unceremoniously landing flat on her back. Shaking his head ruefully, Ted put down his copy of _The Daily Prophet_ and went to lend his daughter a hand.

Accepting her father's proffered hand, Nymphadora stood up, rubbing her rear end. "Stupid staircase," she muttered. "I swear it's cursed."

Andromeda turned away from the porridge, hands planted on her hips, mouth set in a firm line. "Now, Nymphadora, don't go blaming the stairs again. You're a young woman now, and you really should learn to be more careful."

"_Don't _call me Nymphadora, _Mother_," was the reply. "I go by Tonks, remember? Since I was four years old. Surely your old age isn't causing you memory problems yet."

With that, Tonks grinned cheekily at her mother, plonking herself down onto the chair opposite her father and pretending not to hear Andromeda's agitated muttering. A moment later, she had to duck to avoid the low flying pot of porridge, soaring above her before landing gently onto the table. Andromeda then sat down silently next to her husband and began to dish out breakfast.

For a few agonising minutes, all that could be heard was the scraping of spoons against bowls. After what seemed like an eternity to Tonks, Ted cleared his throat. "Dora, be careful, okay?" he said.

"Course I will, Dad. You know me. Careful's my middle name."

Andromeda's stony expression softened as she gazed at her daughter. It seemed like only yesterday when she'd been tying Dora's hair in pigtails with little pink bows. She took a deep breath and said, "We mean it, Dora. You've got to be careful. We couldn't bear it if you ended up dead because of any rash decisions, trying to protect everyone."

"But Mum, that's why I'm doing this. It's to protect people. I don't care if I lose my own life in the process. The rest of the world is so much bigger than me. If I can be a part of making it a better place, dying for that cause is gonna be worth it, right?"

Andromeda sighed in resignation. "There's nothing we can do to change your mind, is there, Dora?"

"Nope," said Tonks. "I've got to go now, anyway. I want to make a good impression on my first day!"

She thundered up the stairs, haphazardly shoving her belongings in a Muggle backpack, then carefully stepped back down, so as not to trip over her own feet.

"Bye Mum! Bye Dad!" she called from the front door. Huffing exasperatedly, Andromeda and Ted followed suit.

"Well?" asked Ted expectantly. Rolling her eyes, Tonks hugged both of her parents in turn.

"Can I go now?" she asked.

"Off you go, then," said Andromeda. "Before we change our minds."

That was all the encouragement Tonks needed. She bolted out the door, and with a loud crack, she Disapparated.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

All was quiet at London's Ministry of Magic. Workers were all seated in their respective cubicles, silently carrying out their duties.

However, a din of nervous chatter could be heard in the Auror department. A group of new hopefuls were to begin their training.

"I'm so excited! D'you think we'll get to duel an actual, proper Auror?"

"Stand still, Ariadne! You look like you've got a Doxy down your pants!"

"Who d'you think's going to be training us?"

"I heard Mad-Eye Moody's going to be mentoring the best of us!"

"They say he's mental!"

Suddenly, the chatter ceased, as the sound of a staff being tapped on the wooden floor reached the young witches' and wizards' ears.

They all turned to look as a man with grizzled grey hair, a wooden leg, one small brown eye and a large electric blue one stood at the entrance. A collective gasp went up from the crowd. The man was Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, one of the most formidable Aurors in Britain. However, the witches and wizards did not have time to dwell on this.

"What are you all waiting for?' Moody growled impatiently. "Get yourselves into a line!"

The young Auror candidates hurried to do as they were instructed, some pushing and shoving at each other in their haste. After a few moments, they had managed to form a reasonably straight line facing Moody.

Moody said nothing as he began to walk down the line, surveying the young, eager faces before him. As he did so, he knew that at least half would never make it through the first six months of training. He could tell by the grinning faces, the way they stood putting weight on one foot, lounging as if they were having a drink at the Three Broomsticks. Not many were serious enough to become fully-fledged Aurors.

However, he did see several people whom he thought would have what it took. For instance, he saw a girl with long brown hair and stony, determined eyes. As he walked past her, she met his gaze directly. That was a first. Most trainees would scuff their shoes against the floor, or look at him awkwardly from under their hair. Not this girl. She had guts, that was for sure.

Moody gave the girl the slightest nod of his head.

"Anyway," said Moody authoritatively. "Today I will test what you know about Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am well aware that for most of your education at Hogwarts, you've had much less than sufficient training in dealing with Dark creatures, Dark wizards and defensive spells, so it's my job to remedy that before the real work begins. We'll begin with the Disarming Charm."

Moody drew his wand from his robes and pointed it at the brown-haired witch. "You, girl. What's your name?"

The girl looked apprehensively at Moody. "Nymphadora Tonks, sir," she said.

"Well, then, Nymphadora –" she shuddered at the use of her given name, "- step forward and draw your wand. And don't call me 'sir'. You are no longer at Hogwarts and I'm not your teacher. Call me Moody or Mad-Eye. That's what everyone calls me."

The girl, Tonks, did as she was told.

"Now, then, Nymphadora. Your objective is simple. Using the incantation 'Expelliarmus', you are to attempt to Disarm me. I may use any counter-curse, so stay alert! On my count. One, two, three!"

"Expelliarmus!"

"Protego!"

Tonks found herself thrown back on the ground by the strength of Moody's Shield Charm. Faster than Tonks had thought possible (what with the wooden leg), Mad-Eye was looking down at her. "You alright?" he asked gruffly.

"Yeah, I think so," Tonks replied.

Moody offered his hand and helped her up. "Up for another go?"

Despite concerned mutters coming from her fellow trainees, Tonks nodded. "Yes."

"Wand at the ready, then," Moody instructed her. "Once more, on my count. One, two, three!"

Tonks was prepared this time. "Expelliarmus!" she thought.

Tonks looked at the wand belonging to her instructor, which now lay on the ground at her feet. She had done it, and with non-verbal magic, too! She looked around at her fellows, seeing their impressed smiles and nods.

Moody extended a hand where he was, and his wand flew towards him. He caught it with ease. Tonks looked up, meeting his eyes, seeing a look of approval on Moody's face, accompanied by what appeared to be a small smile.

"Well done, Nymphadora. A rather impressive bit of non-verbal magic, there," he said.

One of the more cocky boys frowned. "You didn't tell her she was allowed to use non-verbal magic, though."

Moody turned sharply. "A Death Eater won't tell you what you can and can't do in a duel, Davenport," he growled. For the first time, he looked not only imposing, but almost malevolent. The boy called Davenport took an involuntary step back.

"Come here, then, Davenport," Moody said.

Davenport's eyes shifted around, a look reminiscent of a frightened deer upon his face. He reluctantly did as he was told. The rest of the group looked on intently, waiting to see what Moody would do.

"Wand out," Moody ordered the younger wizard. "We'll do the same thing as Nymphadora just demonstrated. One, two, three!"

"Expelliarmus!" cried Davenport.

No sound came from Moody, but Davenport was thrown backwards, landing a few metres away from his original spot. He stood up, rubbing his back gingerly. He said nothing, but glared at Moody.

"Again," was all Moody said. Davenport clutched his wand so tightly that his knuckles were white.

This time, neither wizard made any move. Suddenly, Moody himself had Disarmed Davenport, whose mouth was wide open.

"You would do well to keep your mind closed, Davenport," said Moody. "Any Death Eater could find his way into your mind so he knew what was coming. You would also do well to have a bit of respect for those more experienced than you."

Davenport had the grace to look ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry, sir. It - it won't happen again."

Moody seemed to accept the apology, for he nodded slightly. "Alright then, Caddock, your turn."

Caddock did not manage to Disarm Moody. However, the older wizard had changed his tactics. Only a moment after Moody's count, Caddock was rubbing his wrist, where Moody had expertly aimed a Stinging Hex.

"Hatfield, forward."

A thin, gangly girl stepped forward, her wand arm shaking violently. She raised her wand, stuttering, "Ex-Expelliarmus!"

Moody's wand gave a pathetic twitch, but did not leave his hand. "You'll need to have more confidence than that, Sherry,' he said in what was probably meant to be a kind tone. 'Hesitation like that could cost you your life in a real duel."

Sherry nodded, stepping back into line.

The next name Moody called was 'Honeysuckle'. A girl with wavy blonde hair stepped forward.

"One, two, three!"

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

Honeysuckle did manage to execute the Disarming Charm correctly; however, it was not Moody who she Disarmed.

"Sorry, Stella," she said apologetically, Summoning her friend's wand from across the room.

"S'alright, Ariadne," said Stella good naturedly.

Moody looked like he was trying very hard to hold back laughter. "Well, then, Honeysuckle. That would have been quite impressive, had you Disarmed the right person."

Ariadne nodded sheepishly.

Several more people took their turns, most ending up with bruised tailbones, large welts on their wrists or, more often than not, wounded pride.

The class ended with Sean Greentree retrieving his wand from the top of a bookshelf, having cast the Disarming Charm, only to have it rebound.

Once Greentree had rejoined the group, Moody surveyed their faces once more. Several showed promise. His eyes fell on Nymphadora Tonks, the only one to successfully Disarm him.

He looked away, addressing the rest of the group. 'That's it for today. We'll be doing Stunning spells tomorrow.'

As the group started making their way out, Moody caught Tonks's eye. He said nothing, but simply nodded. She did the same in return.

Alastor Moody knew he could expect great things from Nymphadora Tonks.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

The next day, when the group of Auror trainees walked into the room, Moody was already there. The highly polished wooden floorboards had been replaced by a soft, fluffy carpet.

"Alright then!" Moody said, as the last wizard entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Today, like I said, we'll be practising Stunners. They are one of the most useful spells when you're duelling. By using it, you can often gain the upper hand over your opponent, because you're temporarily disabling them.

"Today, we'll go over the basics of casting a Stunning spell, and instead of duelling me, you'll partner off and practise the spell on each other, without resistance. Later in the course, we'll study what you can do to repel and defend yourself against various Dark creatures, curses, hexes and jinxes. But for now, we're just refreshing the basics. And no, you can't choose your partners. I've already decided who's going with whom. The decisions are final, no arguing. Before we begin, I'll let you know the pairs."

The young witches and wizards groaned, looking around at their friends hopefully.

"Ariadne Honeysuckle and Sean Greentree." The two nodded in each other's direction.

"Stella Thatcher and Sherry Hatfield." Sherry looked slightly uncomfortable until Stella smiled encouragingly at her.

"Matthew Lynch and Michael Caddock." Michael clapped his friend's shoulder, grinning.

"Nymphadora Tonks and Stefan Davenport." The young witch and wizard looked at each other apprehensively. After a moment, Davenport walked over to Tonks, extending a hand for her to shake. 'Hello,' he greeted her.

"Wotcher, Stefan," was the reply.

Moody cleared his throat loudly. "Now that that's all sorted out, let's get started. Stunners are quite simple to cast. Just point your wand directly at your partner and say 'Stupefy'. If you've done it correctly, your partner should be rendered unconscious for a moment, hence the carpet. Find yourself a spot in the room and get started. Make sure you're at least two metres away from the pairs either side of you, in front of you and behind you."

With that, Moody moved to the side of the room, and the pairs scrambled to find a spot. Tonks and Davenport looked at each other awkwardly.

"Should we find a spot, then?" asked Davenport.

"Oh, yeah. Let's go over here," Tonks replied, gesturing to a large space in the centre of the room.

As they drew their wands, Davenport said, "Ladies first."

Tonks nodded. "Alright then. On the count of three. One, two, three! Stupefy!"

Tonks grinned as Davenport was sent backwards, almost colliding with Sherry Hatfield, who, after a few attempts, had managed to Stun Stella Thatcher.

After a moment, Davenport got up, rubbing his back. "Geez, I've already got a lovely purple bruise from yesterday. I don't need another one," he teased Tonks.

She shrugged. "Well, if you hadn't been so stuck up..."

"Sorry about that, Tonks. I guess I was just jealous. You're really talented," Davenport said seriously.

Tonks looked at her feet, hair turning a fiery shade of red. "Thanks."

A collective gasp went up from the rest of the group. "You're a Metamorphmagus?" asked Sean Greentree.

"I heard they're really rare," commented Michael Caddock in amazement.

Moody walked over to her. "Whyever didn't you tell anyone?" he said.

Tonks looked at the carpet, which seemed to have suddenly got a great deal more interesting. "I didn't think it was a very big deal. I didn't want anyone making a fuss about it."

Moody just looked at her silently for a moment. With Moody's electric blue eye seeming to bore into her soul, she felt very uncomfortable. Turning away, Moody barked, "Well, don't just stand there! Keep practising!"

For the remainder of the session, Tonks and Davenport practised silently, save for counts of three, thanks for aiding each other in getting up, and one making sure the other was ready.

It seemed to Tonks like an age before Moody said, "That's enough for today. Off you go." She jumped as he added, 'Oh, and Tonks, I'd like a word with you before you leave."

Tonks nodded silently, making her way over to the older wizard, watching the last few people exit the room.

"Nymphadora, I don't want other people's opinions getting in the way of your training. You have plenty of time to worry about that after the course is over."

Tonks nodded. "Alright. I guess I just need thicker skin."

"Good attitude," Moody said approvingly. "You can't let all that affect you. It needs to be water off a duck's back. That's what Aurors have to do. They can't let their personal lives get in the way of their work."

"Okay. Thanks."

Moody nodded, apparently satisfied. "Off you go, then. I can't keep you here all night."


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

Tonks sighed, watching as the sun streamed into the window of her bedroom. It was only a month into her preliminary training sessions and she was already exhausted. Moody had been working the trainees hard, moving quickly through basic spells, which some were still having difficulties casting.

Tonks had barely spoken to anyone since the day she'd been revealed to be a Metamorphmagus. Most of the group did the same to her, only speaking if they were paired in spell practise. Tonks felt really quite hopeless, and even lonelier.

Of course, she had always tried to be the goofy, laid back witch who everyone liked, but training so hard had sobered her up. She couldn't afford to let foolishness put her in danger when (if) she made it through preliminary basic training, intensive training to qualify as a student Auror, and then finally, getting to do real Dark wizard catching.

Still, she did long for company and fun when she had breaks in training.

_Pfft. 'Can't let your personal life get in the way of work'. That's easy for Mad-Eye to say_, thought Tonks. _What elite Auror missing a leg and an eye and half his nose would have a personal life to speak of?_

Reluctantly, Tonks dragged herself out of her house, Apparating herself to the Ministry of Magic. A moment later, she found herself in front of the battered old telephone box. She stepped inside and dialled six-two-four-four-two on the receiver. The dial whirred as a cool female voice began to speak. "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business."

"Nymphadora Tonks, Auror trainee."

"Thank you,' replied the voice. "Please take the badge and attach it to the front of your robes."

Tonks took the badge when it slid out of the chute where returned coins usually appeared.

The voice continued. "Please make your way to the Auror Department on level two promptly after arriving inside."

With that, the lift began moving. After a few moments, the door opened and Tonks stepped out into the Atrium, which was crowded with witches and wizards heading for their respective departments.

Tonks entered the lift, and a few moments later, she arrived at the training room. As she opened the heavy wooden doors she saw Moody standing on the opposite side of the room, waiting for the group. As he saw her, he looked up, nodding his acknowledgement of her presence.

"Good morning," Tonks greeted her instructor.

"Hello," said Moody in return.

"I didn't think I'd be first here. It's kind of embarrassing."

Moody just looked at her silently for a moment, before replying, "There's nothing wrong with punctuality."

"Well, I suppose so. What are we doing today?" Tonks asked, not really because she was curious, but because she felt it was necessary to make conversation to stifle the tension.

"We'll just be reviewing all the spells we've practised so far. Most of you are reasonably competent at casting them now. Then I'll outline what we'll be doing for the next few months. Mainly using defensive spells and combating Dark creatures."

Tonks looked up sharply as Stella and Sherry walked in the door, talking and laughing. _They must have gotten to know each other since the prac on Stunners_, thought Tonks glumly.

Over the next few minutes, the rest of the group arrived, all in twos or threes, laughing and talking loudly.

Tonks sighed inwardly. _This is going to be a long session_.

It turned out that she was right. The session was filled with spell practise Tonks wasn't really focused on, earning her several bruises from her fellow trainees and several scoldings from Moody about her ongoing lack of 'constant vigilance'.

As soon as she arrived back at her house, Tonks crawled into her bed, still fully clothed. If things were going to stay this bad, the next two years would be long ones. Tonks sighed.


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

Just as Tonks had predicted, the next few weeks went by painfully slowly. She found herself dreading each day which she'd have to spend training. The material they were covering was steadily growing more complex, and Tonks was struggling more and more and falling further and further behind. Mad-Eye was getting more and more frustrated with her, and she still hadn't spoken to any of her fellow trainees, nor had they made any effort to speak to her. Even her parents knew that there was something wrong. They'd often look at her and exchange concerned glances. She didn't know how much more she could bear.

It was the very early hours of the morning when Tonks made her decision. She knew that she wasn't cut out to be an Auror. She had wasted too long on dreaming an impossible dream. The spark which had been ignited within her during her teenage years had well and truly been extinguished.

Her heart sank. She'd have to tell Moody that she was dropping out. She'd never live that down (if she made it out of there alive, she thought childishly). He deserved that much, though, she supposed.

There'd be heaps of witches and wizards who'd give up an arm and a leg to fill her place in the Auror department. She'd known several students at Hogwarts who had wanted to become Aurors, but didn't make the cut. Who knew? Maybe she'd give someone a chance to fulfil their own dream.

She still couldn't shake the feeling of guilt which sat like a rock the base of her stomach, though. Tonks had never been one to give up easily. But that's what she was doing, really: giving up. She hated herself for it. She was letting down her parents, letting down Moody, but most of all, letting down herself. Whatever had happened to Hufflepuff loyalty? She might as well add that to her list of failings.

She groaned as she sat up in her bed. She supposed she'd better face the music; get it over and done with. She stood up, all but dragging herself to her bathroom to shower and dress. A while later (as long as she could possibly draw out getting ready), she stood in her Auror trainee robes and was ready to leave. She was glad of the fact that her parents weren't awake yet. She wasn't ready to have to explain herself to them yet. Taking a deep breath and steeling herself for what was to come, she Disapparated.

All too soon, she found herself standing outside her mentor's office, trembling with nerves. _Stop it_, she told herself. _What can he do to you?_

_How about blast you to smithereens?_ a voice inside her replied.

_Don't be stupid_,Tonks thought.

Tonks took a deep breath, held it for five counts, then released it over five counts. (She had been taught by her father that it was useful to breathe deeply when you were nervous. It was supposed to keep you calm. It didn't work on this particular occasion.)

Composing herself, Tonks knocked on Moody's door. Her knuckles had barely left the wood when she heard Moody's voice call, "Enter!"

Tonks slowly opened the door, not knowing what to expect. She hoped she wouldn't regret this. She frowned as she saw something that looked like a Muggle television aerial, but was gold and oddly shaped. Her eyes were drawn around the room, which was full of all sorts of strange objects.

"They're Secrecy Sensors."

Tonks jumped in fright. She hadn't realised that she had been staring for so long. "Sorry."

It was Moody's turn to frown up at his student from the chair at which he was seated behind his wooden desk. "What are you doing here so early, Nymphadora?" he asked. "Training doesn't start for another hour and a half."

Tonks suddenly couldn't meet his eyes. Staring down at her feet, she said, "I – I came to talk to you about that, actually."

Mad-Eye's frown deepened. "Sit, then," he said. Tonks took this as an instruction rather than a request. "So what brings you here? Few find a reason to come to my quarters."

Tonks shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Sorry to interrupt you," she began. "I understand that you must be way too busy to talk to trainees this early, but it's really important."

Moody only nodded, folding his hands on the desk. Tonks took this as her cue to continue. "You know, ever since I was probably in my third year or so of Hogwarts, I've wanted to be an Auror. I loved the idea of being able to help people, to make a difference to the world. I fantasised for hours and hours about what it would be like to be able to make the world a better place. I just didn't realise that even being able to start doing that would be so hard. I thought preliminary training would be a breeze. I thought I knew my stuff. But the longer I train, the more I know that I'm nowhere near good enough a witch to be able to do this. You said yourself that if we don't master the basics, we'll fall at the first hurdle when the real training begins.

"I've come to understand that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I used to be the rock at school, the one my friends would come to for advice and support. But I'm just not that person anymore. I'm falling apart at the seams 'cause I can't handle scrutiny from you or my classmates. The workload's getting more intense and everything I thought I knew… well, I don't know. I feel like I've let everyone down: my family my friends, myself… you." Tonks breathed in deeply. "Anyway, I need to stop blathering and get to the point. I just don't think that a career as an Auror is for me. I thought it would make me happy, but it's not. It's just making me miserable. So I need to leave. I can't do it anymore. I-I'm so sorry that I've wasted your time. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I hope that it can go to someone more deserving of it than me."

Moody leaned back in his chair, just looking at the girl opposite him. He was silent for what seemed like several hours to Tonks. "You put this in the too-hard basket on day two, Nymphadora," he said, not unkindly. "You crumbled at the very thought that people didn't like you for what you were. That was the end of your career before it even began." He paused, seeming to be choosing his words carefully. "I've only got one eye and one leg, girl. I'm an old, grey, wrinkly fogy. On top of that, I'm almost completely covered with scars. To most of wizarding Britain, I'm a paranoid nutcase."

"But you're the best Auror there ever was!" blurted out Tonks.

Moody leaned close to Tonks, staring her in the eyes. "Precisely," he said. "Do you think if I cared what anybody thought of me, I'd be in this position today? I've copped more than my fair share of flack in the last four decades of my career as an Auror. I've been laughed at by my own colleagues; beaten down by my friends; been ridiculed by my own family. But did I _ever _let it get in the way of my dream? Hell, no.

"Back in my day, the education system was much the same as it is now. We didn't get taught the most basic of spells. So I got to Auror training, just like you, but I coped with it. Sure, I found the spells difficult at first, but I practised and practised until I couldn't possibly cast another spell. When I didn't understand something, I asked for help. When I still didn't understand, I read and read and read until I found help. But let me tell you, _I did not give up_. _Never. Not even once._ I didn't care what it took, I was going to become an Auror and nothing and no one was going to stand in my way.

"You've got potential, Tonks. You've got guts. You've got determination. So _do not _tell me that it's too hard. _Do not _tell me that you can't handle it. And for God's sake, _do not_ tell me that I have wasted my time.

"Get yourself together, girl! Quite frankly, I don't give a damn whether the lot of them think you're a shape-shifting freak for being a Metamorphmagus, and you shouldn't either. You sure as hell don't need to let them affect you. In the end, most of them will probably end up spending the rest of their days at The Three Broomsticks serving Butterbeer twenty-four-seven, while you'll be on the field doing something _real_."

Moody was quiet for a moment, before continuing. "And if you need extra help with the material, I _am_ here for most of my waking hours every single day. I _can_ help you. Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually here to help you lot to become Aurors, not to bark instructions at you and make you feel inferior." He stood. "I hope I've made you rethink your decision, Nymphadora. I don't want to see you at training. Go home and think carefully, because if you're going to continue your training, I want you to put everything you have into it. If you're not, I don't want you in my department at all. Let me know what you've decided on Monday."

Moody then flicked his wand, Summoning a large stack of papers to his desk. Taking this as her cue to leave, Tonks shuffled to the door, shutting it as quietly as she could behind her.


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

Tonks wasn't sure whether she should have been incredibly shocked or incredibly relieved or incredibly confused. What she was feeling at that moment as she stepped out into the warm sunshine was an odd mixture of all three.

Up until that point, as horrible as the idea was, to Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody had seemed almost like a machine, built for one purpose and one purpose alone: to rid the world of Dark wizards. She felt a pang of guilt as she recalled what Mad-Eye had told her: _To most of wizarding Britain, I'm a paranoid nutcase. _Tonks bowed her head in shame. She'd done the very same thing which many dozens of people had done. She'd totally misjudged her mentor. She realised now that despite how callously he treated his trainees, he only wanted to make them the best Aurors, the best witches and wizards, and the best people they could possibly be. He couldn't do that by wrapping them in cotton wool and treating them like small children. He had to be tough on them. _We would never survive five minutes in a duel with a Death Eater without Moody's 'constant vigilance' mantra,_ Tonks laughed inwardly. _He seriously does know his stuff. I need to get a grip on myself and grow up. I acted like I was eleven, going to my first ever Hogwarts detention._

Although it seemed that Tonks had ended up sorting out one mess without adverse effects, she'd just created another one in its wake. She knew she'd have to face her parents sooner or later, although she now wasn't so sure about quitting her Auror training. She had absolutely no idea what she'd say to them now, nor how they'd react. She collapsed onto the bench in a Muggle bus shelter, sighing. What in the name of Merlin was she supposed to do now? She realised, though, that sitting in a bus shelter pondering this was a decidedly bad idea. Somewhat reluctantly, Tonks got up and Apparated back to her parents' house. A moment later, she opened the heavy wooden front door, pausing in the entrance before making her way to the loungeroom.

Her father looked up sharply from the newspaper he was reading. Upon seeing his daughter, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Dora," he said. "We weren't expecting you back until dinnertime."

Tonks collapsed onto the leather couch beside her father. "I know. Where's mum?"

"She's outside tending to the garden. Why?"

"I need to talk to both of you. I'll go get her." Not giving Ted a chance to reply, Tonks went out to the garden.

Andromeda looked just as surprised to see Tonks, but did not argue as she followed Tonks back to the lounge. As her mother sat down next to Ted, Tonks took a deep breath.

"So what is it that's wrong?" Andromeda asked, concern laced in her voice.

"Nothing's 'wrong' per se," replied Tonks. "It's just that Auror training isn't everything I thought it would be." Seeing Ted opening his mouth to speak, Tonks held up a hand. "And please just hear me out first before you say anything."

Andromeda and Ted simultaneously gave each other concerned looks, but both nodded uncertainly.

Tonks was silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts before continuing. "Don't freak out, guys, but this morning I woke up and I was going to quit Auror training. You see, I'd always planned to hide my morphing… abilities until I thought my classmates wouldn't be bothered about it. But that kind of went out the window on day two. I accidentally changed my hair in reaction to something someone said. Everyone was all "oh, you're a Metamorphmagus?" and I just felt like they weren't looking at Tonks the Auror trainee, but Tonks the Metamorphmagus.

"On top of that, the stuff Mad-Eye's asking us to do is getting harder and harder. I just wasn't taught half the basic stuff properly at Hogwarts, so I'm really behind. He said that if we didn't have the basics mastered, we'd be screwed, basically, and he wasn't kidding. So now I'm really stressed out about everything.

"I thought about all this a lot. I'd made the decision that I was going to quit this morning. I went over to the Ministry to let Mad-Eye know, so I told him basically what I've just told you.

"He said that he'd had similar problems back when he was a trainee. He told me that I shouldn't let anyone else's opinions get in my way, and that he'd help me if I needed it. He wants me to keep going with it. He's given me until Monday to decide what I want to do. I was really sure this morning that I wanted to give up, but now I'm not so sure."

Andromeda looked stunned. "Oh, Dora," she said. "Why didn't you tell us any of this earlier?"

Tonks looked down at her lap, where she was wringing her hands. "I didn't want to worry you," she said softly.

Ted raised his eyebrows. "You didn't want to worry us? We did a fair bit of worrying anyway. It was like you'd had a personality transplant. We were half-expecting that someone had Imperiused you," he joked.

Tonks shook her head ruefully. "Well, I can assure that I _am_ actually me."

Ted's expression grew serious. "The point is, Dora, that you can come to is with anything you need. You don't have to go it alone, you know."

Tonks nodded. "I know that now. That's why I need your opinions. I don't know what to do now. I'm so confused…"

Andromeda reached out and grasped both her daughter's hands in her own. "You should do whatever feels right for you."

"But what would _you_ do, Mum?"

"Me?" Andromeda said. "I would give it another crack. Being an Auror is going to be tough, but your dad and I believe in you, and by the sounds of it, your mentor does, too. It's just a case of _you _believing in yourself."

Ted nodded, smiling fondly at Tonks. "If you ask me, I think you're going to regret it if you don't continue on. The likelihood of getting this chance again isn't very high, is it?"

Tonks shook her head. "No. If you drop out, you can't get back in. You guys and Mad-Eye… well, you've made me see how silly I've been. I've been letting everyone and everything dictate how I feel and how I live. I need to make this decision for me, and only me. That's why I'm gonna keep on going with training."

Andromeda and Ted grinned. "For what it's worth, I think you've made the right decision."

For the first time that day, Tonks smiled. "Thanks, Mum, Dad." She then hugged each of her parents in turn. "And now I'm going to sleep and then maybe practise a bit."

Without another word, Tonks turned and bounded up to her room. Andromeda and Ted looked at each other in shock. Tonks hadn't tripped on anything. That Auror training must have been doing her some good.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

As it turned out, Tonks had achieved only half of the things she had set out to do (well she liked to think of it that way, anyway), for when she woke, the sun had already set and she could smell the stew being made for dinner downstairs. She groaned, sitting up and stretching. Her stomach took that opportunity to make rather impolite noises. In her worry that morning, Tonks had not eaten breakfast, nor was she awake to eat lunch or afternoon tea. She slipped her feet into her slippers and went down to the kitchen to investigate what stage dinner was at.

Andromeda smiled as she heard her daughter approach. "Good evening," she said good-naturedly.

"Hi," replied Tonks, taking a spoon from the cutlery drawer and scooping up some stew from the pot. "Not bad," she said approvingly.

Andromeda pretended to look offended. "Only 'not bad'? I'm hurt!"

Tonks laughed. 'It's delicious, as always. When will it be ready?"

"Not long. Five or ten minutes, maybe."

As soon as it hit her plate, Tonks wolfed down her dinner, earning rueful looks from both her parents.

"Why are you in such a hurry tonight, Dora?" Ted asked amusedly.

"I didn't end up practising any spells today so I wanted to at least go over some of the theory before Monday," Tonks replied through a mouthful of stew. In no more than sixty seconds, Tonks was polishing off the last forkful of her dinner. Without another word, she levitated her plate to the sink and charmed the scrubbing brush to do her washing up for her.

The remainder of the night was spent going over the theory for the spells she had learnt. She wrote out each spell, what it was used for, the incantation and wand movement, then read it over and over again until she could recite it from memory, word for word. Feeling satisfied but exhausted by the early hours of Saturday morning, Tonks collapsed into bed to sleep for a few hours until she had to get up again.

She awoke with the sun's rays filling her bedroom with warm, pale light. She took her time to get out of bed, knowing that it was a tad too early for her parents to be awake. After basking in the sunshine filtering through her window for a while, she got out of bed, dressed in her favourite pair of baggy jeans and her Weird Sisters t-shirt, and went to her mirror. She wasn't really in the mood for a normal hair colour. Unsatisfied with her trademark shade of bubblegum pink, she morphed her hair green through violet through maroon, Tonks finally settled on turquoise waves which fell to her waist. She then added a box fringe. She thought it completed her look rather nicely.

Happy with her appearance for the day, Tonks went downstairs to make a cup of tea and enjoy the peace of the morning until her parents woke up. Lost in thought, Tonks didn't register that her parents had joined her until her father came up from behind and gave her shoulders a squeeze.

"Good morning, Dora. Lost in thought there, are we?"

After recovering from her shock, Tonks replied, "Yeah. I just went away with the fairies for a bit there."

"So what are you planning on doing this weekend?"

"I might go to Honeydukes sometime today. I've had a craving for chocolate for days."

Ted chuckled. "Don't let your mother hear that. She'll have a fit."

At that moment, Andromeda entered the kitchen. "Why am I having a fit?" she asked.

Tonks grinned. "You're not. Being the brilliant daughter that I am, I'm going to go to Honeydukes today and get us all some chocolate."

"I see," said Andromeda, amused.

By mid-morning, Tonks had arrived at Hogsmeade. She loved it here. Even though she was an Auror trainee with hardly any money, she still enjoyed looking around at the shops and planning what she would buy when she could afford it. However, she always found that she could always spare enough money for a bar of Honeydukes' chocolate.

The smell as Tonks walked into the sweet shop was delicious. Honeydukes had to be the best-smelling place in Hogsmeade, as well as the most colourful. Sweets of every colour, shape and size filled the displays. Tonks gazed longingly at the treats before turning away with the bars of Honeydukes' finest chocolate and making her purchase.

"Tonks!" called a voice from behind her. She turned around, recognising the voice of Stefan Davenport.

"Wotcher," Tonks greeted him.

"Hi there," he replied. "We missed you at training on Friday. Where were you? We were kind of worried. We asked Mad-Eye, but all he would say was that you were away for personal reasons. Is everything alright?"

She nodded. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just needed some time to myself to see where I'm at with training. I talked to Mad-Eye on Friday before training and he was really good about it. He let me have the day off."

Stefan's eyebrows disappeared into his fringe. "Really? But he's really pedantic about us not missing any sessions. How on Earth did you convince him to let you off?"

Tonks shrugged. "I didn't. I told him what was going on and he gave me some advice and told me I could have the weekend to smooth things out."

Stefan walked over to a bench, sitting down and gesturing for Tonks to do the same. "So what's up?" he asked, with what sounded to Tonks like genuine concern.

Picking dirt out of her shoe, Tonks sighed heavily. "I was just having a bit of an emotional crisis. It was stupid, really."

Stefan looked at her, frowning. "I'm sure it wasn't," he pressed. "Tell me about it and I'll decide for myself."

Tonks looked at him in surprise. Why did he care?

"Well… you know how I didn't tell you guys that I was a Metamorphmagus?"

"Yeah…" said Stefan.

Everything that Tonks wanted to say came out in a huge rush. "I didn't because I didn't want you guys to treat me any differently. I just wanted to be a normal Auror trainee, a normal witch for once. And then I morphed by accident and you lot made a huge fuss. It's not that I blame you or anything… it just sort of threw me off, 'cause I'd already put heaps of pressure on myself because, like you probably already know, I was already having trouble with the stuff we've been doing. The reason I went to Mad-Eye was because I was going to quit."

Stefan looked at his feet. "Oh."

Tonks laughed mirthlessly. "It's stupid, isn't it?"

"Of course not," he replied fiercely. "We treated you really badly Tonks. I'm so sorry. I… we didn't even think about what we were doing."

Tonks shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Moody made sure that I had my head screwed on right."

Stefan clasped her shoulder gently. "But I really am sorry. I hope you know that."

Tonks nodded, and they fell silent. After a moment, Tonks pulled out her bar of chocolate from the Honeydukes bag. Tearing it open, she offered her companion a piece. "Chocolate?"

"Thanks," said Stefan, accepting the chocolate.

The rest of the afternoon was spent talking about everything from Quidditch to Pygmy Puffs. Things were finally looking up.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

And so the rest of the weekend passed quickly. On Monday morning, Tonks rose early once again, planning on arriving at the Ministry early to let Mad-Eye know that she had decided to stay on. Her state of mind had changed dramatically in only three days. It was a wonder to Tonks that so much could happen in so little time. She had gone from broken and defeated to happy and more determined than ever, and she wondered how she could have changed so quickly. It was odd, really. When she'd applied for Auror training, she had thought that she was doing it for her and only her. She thought that outside influences wouldn't affect her. How very wrong she had been. She'd fallen apart. She'd craved approval. One might say she was addicted to it. But just as quickly, she had come full circle. She was now ready to do whatever it took to fulfil her own dream, regardless of anyone else's opinion of her. With that in mind, she arrived on Level Two at the Ministry of Magic.

Once again, she found herself knocking at Moody's office door. Just as quickly as the last time she was there, he let her in. Tonks wondered if he had been waiting for her.

Without a word, Moody nodded at the empty chair opposite him, gesturing for Tonks to sit. As Tonks seated herself, the older wizard raised his eyebrows. "Well?"

Without hesitation, Tonks replied, "I've decided to continue on."

Moody nodded. "Well, I can't say that it wasn't unexpected."

Tonks's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you just needed to get your head screwed back on your shoulders and stop seeking approval from everyone," said Moody seriously. "It would have been a shame to see a witch like you walk out of here because you wanted to please everyone and couldn't."

Tonks nodded in agreement. "That's true. I was just so caught up in what everyone thought of me that I didn't stay true to myself." She paused, laughing softly. "And now I'm getting all sappy and sentimental. I've had enough of that in the past few days to last me a lifetime. But really, thanks for the talk last week. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably be at home having quit Auror training and planning the rest of my life working with Rosmerta at The Three Broomsticks."

Moody shook his head. "All I did was give you my two Galleons. It was up to you what you did with them. But in my learned opinion, you did make the right choice."

"Yeah," said Tonks. "I'm really happy that I decided to stay. I think I would have regretted it later if I'd quit."

"Well, that being cleared up, you'd best get out of here and give yourself some time to relax before training starts. You've got three-quarters of an hour or so." With that, Moody gestured for his trainee to leave.

As Tonks headed outside for fresh air, she all but ran into Sherry Hatfield. Startled, Sherry raised her head, large brown eyes wide with surprise. "S-Sorry, Tonks. I was just caught up in my book," she said, holding up said book, _Quidditch Through The Ages_. "I was never really that interested in Quidditch at school, so I just thought it would be nice to learn a bit more about it."

Tonks smiled. "Oh, I see. So have you played before?'

Sherry's pale cheeks turned bright red. "No. I was never very good at flying. I was never really good at anything…"

"Oh, come on," said Tonks, giving Sherry a playful shove. "You've improved heaps at the stuff we're covering at training. You're doing really well."

The other witch looked at her feet. "Thanks." Abruptly, she said, "Tonks, do you think any of the boys…" she paused for a moment, seemingly unsure, "do you think anyone, you know,_ notices _me?"

"I don't know," replied Tonks. "Have you tried talking to any of the boys?"

Sherry bowed her head, so that her face was obscured by her thick, curly red hair. "No. But I bet _you_ wouldn't have a problem attracting their attentions."

"Why would they want anything to do with me?"

The other girl looked genuinely surprised. "Well, you're pretty, you're smart, you're funny, and you're a great witch. Not like me: plain old Sheridan Hatfield."

Tonks planted her hands on her hips. "With an attitude like that, of course no-one's going to notice you, Sherry. You just need to put yourself out there a bit more and have a bit more belief in yourself, that's all."

Sherry's eyes filled with tears. She turned on her heel and stormed away, a loud sob escaping her lips. Tonks shook her head in confusion. What on Earth was up with Sherry Hatfield?


	10. Chapter Nine

**Dear readers,**

**Wow. Chapter nine already. I honestly didn't think I'd actually make it this far; that the humble little oneshot which I started off with would end up as, well, **_**this**_**. But I've still got a ways to go until the story ends up where I want it to end. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to go about getting there, but I will eventually get there, no matter how long it takes. Figuring out your route when you're not sure how to get where you want to go is half the fun, right?**

**But anyhow, I've had such amazing support from you guys, my readers, even before I put this on hiatus, but now that I'm back in full force, I'm getting more encouragement than ever to continue. You guys have all been instrumental in creating motivation to continue on. The thought that people are enjoying what I'm writing is really, really inspiring. It makes me want to write more and more. But even more importantly, my heart is now in the right place. **

**A while back, I came across an amazing writer, HammersNStrings (you should check out his work!). I went to his profile, and he had a list of Frequently Asked Questions. One of these was 'How do you write so well?' or something similar. His answer was basically that he 'looks in his heart and writes'. I realised that that was what I needed to do. I needed to look in my own heart and write from there. I needed not to write to please everyone, but write to please myself and that would translate to people reading and appreciating and relating to my writing. I'm now actually putting little bits of myself into my characters, and I hope by reading my stories, you might get to know me a little bit as a person, and not just a fanfiction writer on a website.**

**So basically what I'm saying is 'thank you'. Thank you for taking the time to read the work of a random fifteen-year-old high school student/aspiring author. I cannot even accurately describe how it makes me feel when I see that I've gotten readers and reviewers. It's so beautiful. It makes me feel so blessed that I have the opportunity to share my passion with like-minded people, even if I'll never meet you face to face. It's been sort of an emotional outlet for me.**

**And thus comes the end of my ramblings. I know it probably sounded quite cheesy to you, but it's actually how I honestly feel. Thank you so much once again. I'm more grateful than you'll ever know.**

**May God bless you and be with you always.**

**Love,**

**Lyn **

**(The Golden Phoenix Song)**

**Chapter Nine**

At training that day, most of Tonks's fellow trainees welcomed her back warmly and apologised for treating her badly (Tonks wondered whether one Stefan Davenport had anything to do with that). This was, of course, with the exception of Sherry, who continually shot her scathing glances from the corner of her eye. Tonks found herself constantly thinking back to the conversation she had had with Sherry earlier. What could have caused her to be so upset? However, she resolved to focus on training now, and try to speak to Sherry later.

It turned out that Tonks needed to put everything she had into the training session, which was the most intense yet. Moody had asked them to explain then demonstrate each spell which they'd learnt, then partnered them up again to duel using those spells. Tonks's revision on the weekend had turned out to be very useful. She had ended up being able to cast each spell almost perfectly, earning approving looks from Mad-Eye and admiring ones from (most of) her peers.

Several of her fellows had asked her to help them with the spells with which they were having trouble. Tonks's cheeks turned a deep shade of pink as Stefan came over and asked her for help with Shield Charms, although she was soon glowing with pride, as under her instruction, Stefan had managed to cast a relatively strong Shield Charm. She went on to help her other peers with their troubles, catching Moody's eye several times as he stood in the corner of the room, observing each of his trainees. As she coached Michael Caddock in casting a Stinging Hex with extremely painful results, she threw her mentor a scathing look as he attempted to hold back his laughter.

All too soon, the session came to an end. Tonks had managed to go around to all of her fellow trainees (with the exception of Sherry, who looked at Tonks like she was a Flobberworm every time she came within ten feet of her) and help them, whilst talking, laughing and generally having the most fun in an Auror training session as she'd ever had. It seemed that any hard feelings had melted away since her return.

As everyone filed out of the room, Tonks's stomach dropped. She had promised herself that she would talk to Sherry again and find out what was wrong. Her mind made up, she followed Sherry out of the door, having to jog to catch up with her. No sooner than Tonks had fallen into step with Sherry did she stop where she was. "What do you _want_?" she spat.

Tonks took an involuntary step back. She hadn't expected Sherry to greet her warmly, but neither did she expect such a venomous reaction from the usually even-tempered girl.

"I just wanted to ask what upset you this morning. I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

Sherry sighed impatiently, arms crossed over her chest. "What's _bothering_ me, Tonks, is that you're Little Miss Perfect. You've got it all: the smarts, the skills, the looks, the intelligence, the _perfect _family. I don't have any of that."

Tonks frowned shaking her head, hands planted on her hips. "I'm not Little Miss Perfect, Sherry. I may be smart, but that's not because of any natural smarts. I had to work for it. Same with my skills. I wasn't born with them. And I'm not actually good-looking. You forget that you're dealing with a Metamorphmagus. For all you know, I could naturally be the ugliest hag you've ever seen. And if you think I have a perfect family, you're kidding yourself."

Sherry fell silent for a moment, glaring daggers at the other witch, before saying, "At least you're not Muggleborn with a Muggle brother who suffers from cystic fibrosis! Not that you'd actually know what that is."

"I do, actually," said Tonks. "It's a lung disease that caused mucus build up in the lungs. I'm not stupid. I know what clogged lungs are going to do to a person. Apparently they've got to take all sorts of pills and have all sorts of therapy every single day to make sure they don't end up dead from blocked lungs. Even then, their life expectancy isn't very long because of it."

Sherry looked genuinely shocked. "How…?"

"My dad's Muggleborn," Tonks explained. "His aunt had it. She died at thirty-seven."

A single tear made its way down Sherry's pale face. "It's been so hard, you know," she said, her voice thick. "He's basically been the centre of my parents' attention for his entire twelve years. He was diagnosed when he was two. Ever since then, he's been on meds and Mum and Dad have had to do all sorts of therapy with him, take him to the doctors, look after him twenty-four-seven. It's so hard, Tonks!" Sherry cried as she collapsed onto the floor. "It just isn't fair."

Tonks stayed silent, rubbing the other girl's back as she sobbed. "I hate it so much! My parents have never had any time for me in twelve years. It hurts! It's always Chris this, Chris that. Everyone is always around for Chris, but never me. I know it's horrible, but I hate him sometimes. He always gets everyone's attention. They just expect me to shut up and get on with it because I'm the elder, more mature one. Let me tell you this, Tonks," she said, her eyes filled with grief. "I may be elder and more mature, but it doesn't make me need my mum and dad any less!"

Tonks did nothing but put her arms around the other girl's thin, pale frame, allowing Sherry to rest her head on her shoulder and let the tears to flow until she had no more left to shed. This, Tonks reflected darkly, was what happened when a girl was forced to be strong for far too long.


	11. Chapter Ten

_**Somewhat Belated Disclaimer: Now might be a good time to point out that I do not own the world of Harry Potter. It belongs solely to JK Rowling. I have, however, created some of my own characters to use in combination with existing ones in Ms. Rowling's world of wizarding Britain.**_

**Chapter Ten**

Over the next weeks, Tonks spent increasingly more time with Sherry. They would often opt to work together when they were doing partner exercises, and they would study and socialise together on weekends and before and after training sessions. Through her developing friendship with Sherry, Tonks also got to know several of the girls in her training group, particularly Stella Thatcher and Ariadne Honeysuckle, who would sometimes join Tonks and Sherry when they went to The Three Broomsticks for Butterbeer. Tonks discovered that Stella and Ariadne had known each other since they were babies, through their mothers, who had met at Hogwarts and stayed friends ever since. That was the definition of true friendship right there, thought Tonks.

She would also occasionally bring Sherry, Stella or Ariadne (or sometimes all three) home to stay for dinner, much to her parents' delight. They had been worried that her daughter wasn't socialising, considering that she had a bright and bubbly personality and generally liked being around people. It had been a welcome change when Tonks started talking about the things she was doing with her friends. It seemed to Andromeda and Ted that their daughter had finally found her place in the group of trainees, who had come to like and respect her as their peer and friend. No-one treated her differently now. Her morphing was just as normal to them as changes in mood were. Using their ease to her advantage, Tonks came to training with obnoxious hair colours nearly every day, from her signature bubblegum pink, to forest green, to black and white patches reminiscent of a Friesian cow. She would now go to her friends' houses of a morning and they would walk to the Ministry together, sometimes picking up breakfast on the way.

It was a dreary overcast day when Tonks and Sherry arrived early to training, hoping to practise some skills before the rest of the group arrived. To their surprise, however, Moody wasn't there. Instead, there stood a tall black man whom Tonks was sure she'd seen before, but she couldn't put a name to the face. The two girls exchanged confused glances. Moody had never missed a single session before. There had to be something seriously wrong before he'd be absent.

"Where's Mad-Eye?" asked Sherry.

The man sighed. "He is unable to be here today. My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt. I'll be supervising your session in his absence."

"But where is he? Is there anything wrong?" Tonks persisted.

The man rubbed his forehead as if he was trying to be rid of a headache. "He's taking the day off for personal reasons," said Kingsley, almost tiredly.

"But what personal reasons?" said Sherry, frustrated at the lack of information. "It's got to be something really serious for Mad-Eye to take a day off."

Kingsley sighed heavily. "I'm sure Alastor would appreciate your concern, girls, but it's not my place to disclose information about your instructor's personal life."

The two witches collapsed onto the wooden floorboards, defeated. They supposed that they just had to accept that Kingsley really wasn't going to tell them anything, no matter how hard they pressed.

Soon, the rest of the group had arrived, posing just as many questions as Sherry and Tonks had. Somewhat exasperated by this point, Kingsley held up a hand to silence the group. "Alright, alright," he began. "As I'm sure you're all aware by now, Alastor is not coming today. My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt. I'm a senior Auror here and I'll be supervising you today. I know you're all probably concerned about Alastor's whereabouts, but all I can tell you is that he is away for personal reasons and that he will be back tomorrow. He has asked me to get you to tell me about what you've been learning over the past few months, and then he wanted you to read some material about Dark creatures and how to combat them. And no, we're not doing any practical application today." A collective groan went up from the young wizards and witches. No prac work? This was going to be a boring session.

The trainees made it very difficult for Kingsley to do his job. They were restless and unresponsive. Getting information out of them reminded Kingsley of the garden gnomes which he had had extreme difficulty pulling from the ground in his backyard. However, Kingsley thought as he looked upon the sour faces of his colleague's trainees, Mad-Eye must have been doing a hell of a good job with them if they missed him this much.

Kingsley turned around, startled, as the large wooden door creaked open. The younger witches and wizards whipped around at the noise, their faces lighting up.

Kingsley frowned deeply. "What the hell are you doing back here?"


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Author's note: Thank you to each and every one of my reviewers so far! It makes me ridiculously happy and a whole lot more motivated. It was pretty difficult to find the right words to write this chapter, but I think it was worth it. **

**Chapter Eleven**

"_What the hell are you doing back here?"_

Mad-Eye Moody stood in the doorway, looking unusually tired and worn. "Well, I wasn't about to abandon my Aurors, was I?" he said, sounding emotionally drained, much to the trainees' surprise.

If it was possible, Kingsley's frowned deepened further. "I thought you were taking the day off. I did say that I would cover for you."

Moody sighed, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. He suddenly looked decades older. "You thought wrong."

Kingsley made an exasperated noise. "Why can't you just put aside one day to remember her, Alastor? Is it really that hard?"

A disgusted look crossed Moody's face. He suddenly stood bolt upright, hand going to his robes for his wand. "Why can't I put aside _one day_ to remember her? _One day_, Shacklebolt?" He drew his wand, gripping it so hard that his knuckles were white. "So this is the state of the world these days, is it? You put aside one single day to remember the fallen ones and then push them to the back of your mind for the other three hundred and sixty-four?

"There is not a single day that goes by that I don't think about what happened to her, Shacklebolt. I saw her _murdered_. _Murdered_, and there was not a thing I could do. I was_ helpless_." He hesitated for a moment, but continued, fighting to keep his voice even. "_My own sister died in my arms._"

The group collectively held their breath. No-one made a sound, and the silence was agony. What kind of hell had their mentor gone through?

"Heather was nineteen when she was killed by Voldemort's Death Eaters. Cowards, the lot of them. They attacked her when she was unarmed. Defenceless." He paused for a moment, eyes glazed over, seemingly lost in memories. "There is not a day when I don't wish that I could have got there sooner. I should have been there to protect her."

Michael Caddock frowned. "That's really unfair," he said abruptly. "It wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could have done. They probably would just have killed you, too."

"I would rather have died than hold my sister's dead body in my arms, Caddock," replied Moody icily. "Don't you even dare speak about things you know nothing about."

Tonks's eyes narrowed. "So that's it, then?" she demanded. "You think you should have died in your sister's place."

"Yes," replied Moody simply. "Why do you think I became an Auror, Tonks? I watched my sister die at the hands of Dark wizards. That day cemented in my mind the reasons for which I was training to be a Dark wizard catcher. I wanted to do everything in my power to prevent this happening to someone else.

"I don't believe for a second that people should just shove the memory of the fallen to the backs of their minds, letting it gather dust until they are forced to bring it out again. Those we've lost should be an integral part of our lives, because in the end, to be forgotten is worse than death."

By this time, Kingsley's face was ridden with guilt. "I – I'm sorry, Alastor," he said. "I shouldn't have been so insensitive."

Moody nodded his acknowledgement. "No harm done."

"Should I leave you to it, then?"

"Yes."

Kingsley gently shut the door behind him as he left. No-one quite knew what to say when Kingsley had left. For a moment, all they could do was stare in shock at their mentor.

"Her death will not be in vain." Everyone turned around to look at Ariadne in surprise as she spoke, her voice solemn. "That's why we're here, isn't it? To learn how to protect the world from Dark wizards. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure that what happened to your sister doesn't happen to anyone else."

Everyone in the room nodded in agreement.

"And I reckon Heather would be pretty damn proud of her brother," said Tonks.

Alastor Moody couldn't help but think that this was better than any time he'd taken off work to commemorate his sister's death.

And in that moment, he could not have been more proud of his future Aurors.

**Another author's note: This chapter is dedicated to all of the soldiers who have fallen while at war. Your sacrifices have not been forgotten.**


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Dear readers,**

**I'm really sorry for not updating in such a ridiculously long period of time. I must admit that I've felt very uninspired in writing this. However, I do hold firm to my promise to you that somehow, no matter how long it takes, this fic will get finished.**

**By means of apology, here is a short 'filler' sort of chapter which you might enjoy until I can write something more substantial.**

**Again, accept my apology. God bless!**

**- Lyn**

**Chapter Twelve**

From that day on, Moody's past was not mentioned again. However, the revelation of the tragedy of Moody's past had dramatically changed the relationship between the Auror trainees and their mentor. The young witches and wizards had gained an unspoken respect and empathy for Moody, and as a result, had begun to show fierce commitment to their studies. They would often arrive early to practice their spells or to have private instruction from Moody, and much of their free time at the Ministry was spent with Moody, learning all they could about Dark wizards and the forces they used.

Although Moody would continue to appear gruff and unyielding, he could not pretend that he was not touched by his trainees' increased dedication to their work. It had been a long while since he had felt as fulfilled in his life as he did then. Mostly his work as an Auror had left him empty, cold and lifeless. However, it seemed as if training young people had allowed the passion he once felt for his job return. These witches and wizards gave him hope for the next generation which had been lacking in him for quite some time.

Coping with the memory of his dead sister has never been easy. It wasn't easy for anyone who had lost a loved one, he supposed. For years, he had somehow succeeded in suppressing any emotion he felt at the loss of Heather. He realised now, that this was a large part of the reason for the hollowness he felt. It was not long before he decided that this would not do.

On one particularly pleasantly sunny, cloudless Saturday, Moody did not go to his office at the Ministry of Magic as usual, but instead donned a cloak and a hat, and got on a train, travelling several hours until he arrived at his destination. As Moody entered the graveyard, he resolutely ignored several long stares he received from various people.

It took hardly a moment for Moody's eyes to fall upon the stone marking his sister's resting place. Gently, he reached out and touched its smooth surface with rough and gnarled fingers, in stark contrast, he recalled clearly, to Heather's soft, gentle ones. He allowed a small smile to form on his lips as her face appeared in his mind, as clearly as if she was standing before him then. Moody noticed for the first time in years that it did not cause him pain to remember her. It was liberating, somehow, to search through his memories of her, just like flicking through them like he would a photograph album. And so that was what he did, lowering himself gingerly onto the grass above where Heather lay, and setting his staff next to him. He sat there for several hours, letting his guard slip completely down. It was only as the sun began to set did he realise how long he had been there. Carefully, taking his time, he got up from where he sat, and stood still for a long moment, before turning away, silently promising Heather, wherever she was, that he would return and see her often. It was only then that Alastor Moody realised that his face was wet with tears.


End file.
